


Love in the Dark

by OneDCupOfTea (NightskyDeity)



Series: Love in the Dark [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst, But there is sexy times?, Come Swallowing, I hate myself for writing such a sad fic, Last night sex, M/M, Not enough appreciation of Liam's abs, Rimming, There really isn't anything too crazy, Top!Zayn, Very mild d/s, bottom!Liam, if you blink you'll miss it, please don't read this, this is really terrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 09:16:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6605251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightskyDeity/pseuds/OneDCupOfTea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is inspired by two things; Adele’s “Love in the Dark” and One Direction's “Love you, Goodbye.” When I heard both of these songs basically back to back in the car one day I had a thought of Liam asking Zayn to stay. Zayn ends up staying just one more night. This is what came of that one shot idea. Enjoy! xx</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love in the Dark

Notes:

 

Chapter One

Touring was exhausting. Not because he didn’t love performing but because he hated acting. Hated pretending to be happily engaged. Hated the stunts and the gossip magazine headlines. He hated being ‘on’ every moment of every single fucking day. And maybe a part of him hated being in the band. Not because he didn’t love the boys, but because it just wasn’t him. He felt his identity had been stripped away bit by bit. Hidden behind bubblegum pop lyrics that didn’t resonate with him. Slashed to pieces by hair and makeup and clothes that fit his image but not his soul. 

Zayn had first fallen for Liam during the X-Factor tour. It had been such a long time since any of them had been home and Liam had stepped up and made sure everyone felt comfortable and happy and that they didn’t dwell on the negatives of touring. It had meant so much to have someone to confide in. And Zayn had quickly caught himself falling for the brown-eyed, quirky lad. 

Harry and Louis were under a lot more scrutiny than Zayn and Liam but there were still people who talked. The amount of NDA’s in existence because of the members of One Direction could fill an entire filing cabinet. Maybe a couple hundred cabinets. Liam and Zayn had never been able to be ‘Liam and Zayn.’ They were always just laddie friends and nothing more to the public. 

So while it was surprising when Zayn gathered his bandmates together for an impromptu meeting during their tour, it came as no surprise that Zayn was fed up. All of the boys could relate to his feelings of frustration and confusion. They had all been so young when they were all thrown together and, naturally, relationships had formed. 

He gathered them all in his hotel room. He thought it would be easier to talk to them all at once instead of individually. He was wrong. Once he was stood in front of them all as they sat or stood watching him in cautious anticipation he wished he had taken them all aside one at a time. This was going to be so difficult. 

“I’m sorry to leave you lads in the middle of a tour but I just can’t do it anymore, right? Like things are just too much. I just want to be normal.” The ‘and not made to feel wrong’ hung at the end of his sentence like a quiet admission of defeat. 

Zayn knew he was bordering on whiny. They had all been so incredibly lucky to have found one another and to have been as successful as they had been. It could have been disastrous. Throwing five young boys together who didn’t know each other and had no professional experience. But the One Direction machine had been successful. Too successful for Zayn. 

He was so grateful but he just couldn’t keep hiding. And while he loved Liam he no longer felt as though he were in love. Maybe it was the years of media training and fake relationships and barely being given time alone or maybe it was just the natural progression of time cutting away at his feelings. But he knew without doubt that Liam deserved someone who could love him fully. And Zayn just couldn’t anymore. 

“I love you all so much.” He stared pointedly at Liam. He still loved him. He just wasn’t in love. He reminded himself. Needed to be strong and finish this. “But I need to go home for a bit. Clear my head. Get back to some level of normalcy.” 

The boys were speechless. It was rare that in this rowdy group, especially with Louis and Niall around, that things were quiet. But no one said anything for several minutes. Finally, surprisingly, it was Harry that cleared his throat. 

“So you won’t stay for the tour?” He inquired, unfolding his hands almost pleadingly. 

Zayn just shook his head. 

Niall let out a heavy breath and clapped his hands loudly in front of him. “Not surprising really, innit? You’ve been through it, especially recently.” He was the first to hug Zayn. Wrapping his arms all the way around Zayn’s neck and pulling him close. “Love you, brother. We’ll be here, yeah?” 

Zayn couldn’t help but smile a little as he was hugged by the bright ball of sunshine that was Niall Horan. The Irishman had a knack for making people feel better. 

Louis and Harry hugged him as well. A little puddle of bodies in the middle of Zayn’s hotel room. Only Liam remained sitting quietly off to the side. He hadn’t spoken yet. Or looked up from the plush, hotel carpet. He was nervously pulling at a loose thread on his jeans. 

Louis looked over Zayn’s shoulder, seeing Liam. “We uh, we’ll let you guys talk, yeah? We’ll be right down the hall if you need us.” He pulled at Harry’s hand, tugging him towards the door and nodding his head suggestively. 

Niall let go of Zayn last. A sad look in his normally happy blue eyes. “See you at breakfast?” 

Zayn nodded and gave Niall a small smile. He had promised he wouldn’t cry. 

Niall shut the door softly behind him as he left, leaving Zayn and Liam alone in the silence. Lights from the cars driving by on the street below flashed against the dark wood of the hotel wall. Illuminated Liam’s face enough that Zayn could see he was crying softly. 

“Liam, don’t…” Zayn crossed the room in a handful of long strides, falling to his knees beside Liam’s chair. He didn’t touch him. Didn’t know if that was allowed right now. He let his hands ghost over Liam’s thighs before gripping the arms of the chair. 

Liam took a shaky breath and finally looked up at Zayn. “You’re just leaving? Giving up on us?” His lip quivered but Zayn could see something like resolve already forming behind his soft brown eyes. The word us implied far more than just the band. He hated that he was the cause of Liam’s pain. That he was the reason for those walls starting to come up. 

“Li...I think maybe we’ve been over for a while?” He did reach out now, his thumb gently rubbing the single tear left clinging to Liam’s cheek. “I can’t only love you in the dark. I want to live my life fully.” 

“What if we came out? Would that even change anything?” 

Zayn placed his palm on the side of Liam’s jaw, wanting to be close to him for just this moment. Wanting to take away the pain he knew he was causing. He didn’t respond. Didn’t need to.

Liam leaned into Zayn’s touch, an almost imperceptible nod as he closed his eyes. “Will you at least stay the night? Just one last night with me?” He whispered so softly that Zayn almost missed it. 

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Zayn questioned, letting his hand fall to Liam’s knee. 

“I don’t bloody care. We deserve it after all the shit that’s happened the last few years. A moment to just be alone, yeah?” Liam’s voice was nearly pleading. 

“Yeah.” Zayn paused, really considering whether this is the right thing to do. “Yeah. We do. You can stay here tonight if you want?” 

Liam nodded, standing abruptly. He pulled Zayn up with him and before Zayn could even catch himself Liam is pressed against him, his lips smashing against Zayn’s. It isn’t gentle or inquiring, it is like fire, all teeth and burning need. 

Zayn lets himself melt into those sensations. Allows himself to be dominated for a brief moment. It feels nice to know how desired he is. His eyes flutter closed and he drinks in the pleasure flooding his system. He only allows himself a moment of submission though before he can almost taste the shift in the air. Liam’s demanding kisses and firm touches become more needy and almost dependent. As though he is seeking approval now, not demanding anything. 

Zayn takes the opportunity to move them closer to the bed. Their lips don’t detach as he backs Liam up to the edge, crowding his body as he removes both of their shirts in a swift motion he is quite proud of. 

“Want you. Need you.” Liam is mumbling against his lips and Zayn lets out a soft moan at the pure, undiluted want in Liam’s voice. It has been ages since they have been able to be together like this. A frantic tour schedule coupled with management fighting them every moment to keep them closeted made it difficult to find time alone. The last few months had been a blur of messy blow jobs and quick hand jobs. 

Zayn let his fingertips sink into Liam’s shoulders as he pushed him back against the mattress, little red impressions left behind on his skin from the pressure. He straddled Liam, thighs framing his hips as he claimed his mouth again, forcing his tongue past the loosely closed seam of Liam’s plush lips. 

There are still too many layers of clothing between the two of them. Too much fabric separating their skin. Zayn made quick work of pants and briefs, kicking his shoes and skinny jeans off in the same fluid movement. By the time Zayn looks back down at Liam he is also fully nude, softly tanned skin reflecting in the watery moonlight that filters in from the high windows. 

And what a body he has. Years of long hours at the gym and the pressure to ‘look fit and act dumb’ had chiseled away at Liam’s body and his soul. His abs were well defined, tapering off into a perfect V shape that led straight to his groomed cock. His arms were strong and muscled, clinging to Zayn. 

The flesh of his upper thighs was slightly paler than the rest of him. Zayn pressed his nails into the yielding skin there, loved the harsh gasp it drew out of Liam. 

“Always so gorgeous.” Zayn mutters into Liam’s jawbone, stubble rubbing against stubble. Liam preens a bit at that, clutches at Zayn as though he is his only tether to Earth. Zayn ignores the pang of guilt in his chest. Decides instead to leave a trail of kisses down Liam’s collarbone, teeth nipping lightly as he makes his way down. 

His hands move down Liam’s sides, fingertips sliding over abs and broad hips until his right hand ghosts over the the curve of Liam’s cock. He can feel it twitch at the light, teasing touch. A rasping sigh the only verbal indicator that Liam is paying attention. He is so quiet and still for Zayn. Their relationship has always been one of submission from Liam.

He was always so willing to take whatever Zayn was willing to give. Never asking for more or for less. It was the same in sex and in daily life. Liam was a people pleaser. Zayn again pushed away the feeling of remorse and guilt as he wondered if Liam would replace him quickly. Would find someone who could elicit such a beautiful response. It wasn’t his place to worry anymore, he reminded himself, and returned to the task at hand. 

“Want you to beg for it, baby.” Zayn nibbled at the shell of Liam’s ear. He licked over the vein straining in Liam’s neck at Zayn’s teasing touches. Bit more harshly than he normally would at the juncture of Liam’s neck and collarbone. 

“Please, Z. Need it…” Liam can barely string words together coherently so Zayn figures he’ll go easy on him. He mouths his way down Liam’s chest, placing gentle kisses to the inside of his thigh as he presses his cheek against Liam’s throbbing length. He knows his stubble must burn in that painful yet pleasurable way that Liam enjoys so much. 

“What do you need, pet?” Zayn turns, his breath hot and teasingly gentle as his fingertips tap against Liam’s trembling thighs. 

“You. Your fingers. Cock...everything.” Liam begs and it is so damn pretty that Zayn growls low in his throat. He palms Liam’s balls, feels the weight of them in his hand. Watches as Liam’s eyes roll back just from this small touch. 

“Open.” Zayn demands and pushes three fingers past Liam’s lips. Getting them spit slick as Liam nearly gags over them. He bends back down to kitten lick at the sensitive underside of Liam’s cock. When he thinks his fingers are wet enough he removes them from Liam’s mouth and he slowly presses his middle finger against Liam’s quivering rim, pushing past the tight ring at the same moment that he takes the head of Liam’s cock into the warmth of his mouth. 

“Fuck!” Liam shouts, nearly bucking up off the bed. Zayn is proud to note that Liam fights the urge, twisting his fingers into the sheets instead. He bobs up and down along Liam’s length, curving his finger inside of Liam until he can feel that little bundle of nerves pressed against his fingertip. He gently caresses it and watches as Liam begins to fall apart from just this. Just one finger and Zayn’s talented mouth. 

He changes his angle, barely ghosting against Liam’s prostate to take off some of the edge for Liam. Zayn knows Liam could come just from this. Knows how much he loves it when Zayn fingers him open. 

Zayn opens up his throat, not for the first time appreciative of his lack of a gag reflex, and takes Liam all the way down. Moaning around his length as he nestles his nose in the soft pubic hair at the base of Liam’s cock. He slowly teases a second finger against Liam’s rim, his free hand sliding up Liam’s flat stomach, dipping in between sculpted abs and ribs. 

Liam fists the sheets more tightly as Zayn presses his second finger alongside his first. Zayn presses both fingers firmly against Liam’s prostate, fucking them in and out fast and sloppy as he continues sliding his lips up and down Liam’s hard dick. 

“‘m close, Z. Don’t wanna come yet. Wanna come with you in me.” Liam whimpers, writhing on Zayn’s talented fingers, desperately trying not to fuck into Zayn’s mouth. 

Zayn looks up at Liam from his position between his knees, smirking around the cock in his throat. He swipes his tongue up and down the sensitive bottom of Liam’s dick, feels it pulse in his mouth. He knows Liam won’t last much longer. 

He adds a third finger to Liam’s hole, scissoring them to further open Liam up. He slips off Liam’s cock with a pop and immediately slides his tongue around the fingers disappearing into Liam’s ass. Liam does spasm then, his hips flying off the bed in shock. Zayn uses his free hand to pin his hips back down.

“Be good for me, love. If you’re a good boy you can have my cock, yeah?” He smiles sweetly up at the gorgeous boy above him and presses gentle kisses into his quivering thighs before dipping back to his hole to dart his tongue in between his fingers. 

And he loves this. Loves the taste of Liam - sweat and musk and boy all wrapped into one intoxicating taste. He loves hearing the tiny mewling whimpers that fall from Liam’s lips when he is writhing on Zayn’s fingers. Loves that he is the only person who gets to have Liam in this way. Who gets to see this normally sure, in charge man fall apart at being fucked into submission. 

He leans back to inspect his work. Liam’s hole is completely spit slick and open for him. As he pulls his fingers out he watches, with a smirk, as Liam’s ass clenches on air, desperate to be filled. 

“Please, Zayn. Need your cock now. Please.” Liam’s eyes glitter with unshed tears, Zayn knows these are tears of want and desire and not the sad tears he saw earlier and that feels like another punch to his gut. 

“Yeah, okay baby. Gonna take care of you, yeah? How do you want it?” Zayn lazily drags a finger across Liam’s rim, watches as Liam closes his eyes and bites his lip at the sensation before his liquid brown orbs are popped open again and looking directly into Zayn’s. 

“On my back. Like this. Wanna see you.” Zayn nods his understanding and agreement before he crosses the room in quick strides to retrieve his bag. He comes back seconds later with a small sachet of lube and a condom. 

Liam takes the condom from him and opens it quickly, rolling it on Zayn’s fully hard cock before laying back against the sheets. Zayn squeezes lube onto his fingers and spreads it across Liam’s hole before applying the remainder to his cock. Liam watches him, a hungry look in his eyes. 

Zayn dips his fingers back down between Liam’s thighs, slipping two lube slickened fingers back into his clenching hole. 

“I’m ready, Zayn. Need you in me, please.” Liam nearly sobs, pleading desperately to be filled. 

Zayn, never one to deny a gorgeous, begging Liam, slips his fingers out and nudges closer, spreading Liam’s thighs further apart as he fits himself between them, his cock pressing firmly against Liam’s wet hole. 

He spreads his legs even further, watching as his cock slowly sinks into Liam. Liam’s eyes close for only a moment before Zayn has a hand wrapped firmly around his jaw, forcing him to open his eyes and stay focused. 

“Look at me while I’m fucking you, Li.” He growls, not harshly, as his fingers dig into the flesh of Liam’s cheeks. 

Liam moans loudly, eyes wide open and watching Zayn’s face intently. Zayn pushes in further, his cock nearly fully buried inside Liam. As he slides all the way, Liam shudders and bites his lower lip, pulling it between his teeth.

“Does it hurt, babe? You alright?” Zayn stops immediately to check. It has been so long since they’ve done this. He falters for a moment, thinking of all the ways this could go wrong. 

But Liam just shakes his head, actually sliding his body down a bit so that Zayn’s cock moves just slightly inside of him. “Feels so good, Z. So full.” 

Zayn’s eyes soften as he looks down at the man writhing beneath him. He wonders, for a moment, how anyone could ever not love Liam. Questions himself for the briefest of seconds before he focuses again on the present moment. 

“Always so good for me, pet. Take my cock so well, don’t you?” He praises, gently caressing the side of Liam’s face before trailing his fingers down his neck and to his chest. He teases Liam’s nipples until they are hard little peaks before moving on to ghost his hand over Liam’s ignored cock. 

Liam sighs contentedly at the brief, barely there caress, arching into the touch. “Please.” he whispers and it is so soft that Zayn nearly misses it. 

“Want me to touch you, baby? Is that what you need?” Zayn asks, adjusting their angle by taking one of Liam’s legs and putting it over his shoulder. He rotates his hips a few times in a lazy circle before he starts fucking into Liam with short, hard thrusts. 

Liam cries out, hands tangled in the sheets and knuckles nearly white from the strain. He is trying to be so good and Zayn loves that he is willing to take what Zayn gives him. That he wants only what Zayn can provide. Another selfish flash of jealousy and uncertainty whips through his mind before he is pounding into Liam, fingers of his right hand firmly pressed into Liam’s calf as he holds it above his shoulder and his left hand circling around Liam’s cock. 

He starts with slow, dry, teasing strokes, getting Liam to full hardness again. He knows it won’t take much, Liam was already so on edge. Zayn can already feel his own orgasm building up deep in his stomach, countless weeks without proper sex keeping him on edge as well. 

“Want to ride you. Can I, Zayn?” Liam bites his lip again, looking shy and demure even while Zayn continues to fuck into him. He considers it for a moment, enjoying the current angle. But if this is the last night they have he wants Liam to enjoy every moment. 

“Sure babe, yeah. Wanna watch you bounce on my cock.” He smiles and drops Liam’s leg back to the bed, slowly pulling out before he rolls over Liam and onto his back. Seconds later Liam is straddling him, kissing him breathless even as he spreads himself onto Zayn’s cock, sinking down all the way in one quick motion. 

He moves his hips in small circles for a moment, readjusting to the new angle. He puts his hands on Zayn’s shoulders for support and then he starts to bounce with intent. Zayn can feel that his cock hits Liam’s prostate on every downward movement. He thrusts up into Liam, meeting his movements with increasing speed and ferocity. 

His fingertips will probably leave bruises on Liam’s hips and he finds an obscene and macabre sense of glee in that thought. That he is marking Liam as his. That the whole world might know who Liam belongs to. 

“Fucking yourself so well, Li. Love to watch you take my cock like this. You are so good for me, babe. Love you so much.”

It slips out before he can stop himself. And it hurts because it’s true but it doesn’t matter that it is true. He’s made his decision. He watches as Liam’s eyes slip closed and a tear threatens to slide from the corner of his eye. Zayn leans up to kiss it away, hand gripping the back of Liam’s neck so that his body is tight against his own. 

Zayn can feel Liam clench and knows a second before he comes, splattering across his own stomach, some of it falling onto Zayn’s chest. 

“Want you to come in my mouth, please. Need it…” Liam cries out through his post-orgasm shakes, quickly moving himself off Zayn’s lap and settling on his stomach between his thighs. Zayn doesn’t need to be asked twice, he yanks the condom off and slides his hand up and down, firm pressure at the head of his cock. It only takes a few strokes before he is coming against Liam’s lips and tongue, shuddering as he watches Liam lick his lips and hold his come for just a moment in his mouth before swallowing. 

Zayn immediately pulls Liam against his chest and tightly wraps his arms around him, holding him close. Liam feels and smells so familiar, like home, and that just makes all of this hurt more. 

He soothes his fingers up and down Liam’s sweat covered back, feeling the muscles ripple beneath his touch. He doesn’t understand how he can feel so sure of everything in these quiet moments of intimacy and be so completely terrified any other time. 

They lay silently like that for a few minutes, catching their breath and just enjoying being in each others space. 

“Love you, Z.” Liam mumbles in his sleepy haze and Zayn thinks his heart might burst from sadness. He doesn’t respond, just listens as Liam’s breathing turns slow and steady, a gentle snore confirming he is asleep. 

Zayn lets himself indulge in the soft warmth beside him for half an hour before he slowly, carefully disentangles himself from the sheets and pulls his pants on quietly. 

“Goodbye, Li.” he whispers into the darkness before he slips out of the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hate me? I kind of hate me...What have I done?! I promise a happy fic soon to make up for this!


End file.
